


lights pass overhead

by hubbletuff



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe- Welcome to Night Vale, M/M, Why am I doing this?, who knows - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-11
Updated: 2017-05-21
Packaged: 2018-10-17 12:55:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10594446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hubbletuff/pseuds/hubbletuff
Summary: "Today, we have a stranger. Welcome to Night Vale."





	1. Pilot

**Author's Note:**

> yup we're doing this. here ya go.

“Today, we had a stranger. Welcome to Night Vale.

“Hello, listeners. It's Keith, live from the Night Vale Community Radio Station. To start our day, there's a notice that our new Intern, Katie, has just handed me. The City Council has announced that a Cat Park is being opened in the crater that was once Altea Park, on the corner of Voltron and Galra. There are a few rules for this new Cat Park:

1\. Cats are not allowed in the Cat Park.  
2\. People are not allowed in the Cat Park (cat owners even less so).  
3\. You may see hooded figures in the Cat Park. Do not be alarmed, do not approach these hooded figures. You will not be harmed… probably.  
4\. DO NOT APPROACH THE CAT PARK. DO NOT LOOK AT THE CAT PARK. DO NOT APPROACH THE CAT PARK.

“In other news, Hunk has just called in from the trailer park. He has just met some angels! They came to his broken down trailer and offered to fix it. Hunk now lives in a large castle that is made of a strange metal that he is not even aware is naturally occurring in Earth, much less our little town. Hunk is selling a rock that one of the angels touched. If it interests you, meet him in his giant castle at noon with twenty dollars.

“A stranger entered town today. His hair is perfect, his pure white coat is perfect. He says he is a scientist, but aren't we all? We are all scientists. Why is he so special? He has rented a lab next to the trailer park in which Hunk lives in his new Castle. But it isn't much of a trailer park now, more of a… castle-park. Yes, the castle-park.

“To all the new parents in our town, we have a few small reminders. If you choose to take your kids downtown to play or maybe walk around, just know that there are some places to avoid. For example, Zarkon’s Burritos. No one wraps those burritos like Zarkon. No one. Zarkon’s Burritos is not safe for children, especially with the choking hazards that all the food contains. Also, do not enter the Cat Park or the Baku Pawn Shop. No one has ever been seen leaving the Baku Pawn Shop. When taking them put, give the children carrots. They are delicious and cold, and will help them grow to be big and strong. If you see any strange helicopters, ones with airbrushed lions on the sides, RUN. RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN. RUN WITH YOUR CHILD AND DO NOT LOOK BACK. GO HOME AND ONLY OPEN YOUR DOOR WHEN YOU FIND A BLUE ROSE OF YOU DOOR HANDLE. DO NOT QUESTION HOW IT GOT THERE.

“This just in, this new stranger, the scientist, has called a town meeting. We are unaware how, since we have never had a town meeting and no one has talked to him or his perfect hair yet. But anyway, we now know that his name is Lance. What a beautiful name, for such a beautiful man. I took one look at him, at is absolute perfection from head to toe, and I fell in love immediately.

"One day I hope he will be less of a stranger to me.

"And now, the weather."

*music plays. once it ends you cannot remember what the song was or how long it took to play but you do know that you enjoyed it. this was the weather.*

"A few minutes ago, the basketball game between the Night Vale Elementary Lions and the Desert Bluffs Aliens. It was an intense game, and stakes were high after suspected cheating from Desert Bluffs, including an incident in which a giant yellow robot lion was teleported into the Night Vale Elementary gymnasium for one second before disappearing completely. Eventually, our team won, showing that we can gain victory even when Desert Bluffs has better uniforms and snacks than we do, and depsite us having a disabled coach on our team. That very disabled coach is, in fact, my cousin Matt! Matt is quite the nice character, it's a shame he had to marry that Takashi Shirogane. Shiro is always trying to get such strange ideas into everyone's head, and he always bring the worst snacks to PTA meetings. Who does he think he is questioning why I'm at the meeting when I don't have a kid?

"Lance has come out with more news, after, unfortunately, flirting with Mayor Allura. It's a shame, really. Anyway, he says that we have the most interesting and unexplainable town he's ever seen, which excuse me just can't be true! We're all completely normal! This is one thing we'll just have to disagree about.

"Our daily traffic report comes from Intern Katie who reminds us that cars are not real, you imbecile.

"Stick around for lovesick screaming about a scientist come to town."


	2. Lubos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Today, a strange glowing green is passing above us. Welcome to Night Vale."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Thanks for leaving those nice comments, that's really nice to see. Well, I hope you like this chapter.
> 
> Read on!

"Today, a strange green cloud is passing above us. Welcome to Night Vale.

“Heeeelllo, listeners. It's another day in our utterly boring town. So far nothing completely out of the ordinary is happening, though the Night Vale Tourism Board is starting tours around that new plateau that popped up the other day! Now, actually, there is something strange. Coran Smythe, you know, that farmer, was out at the edge of town like always when he saw this weird glowing cloud. It was very large and it seems to be getting closer and closer to downtown, but don't worry! It probably isn't harmful!

“In other news, Mrs. Luxia has died today, unfortunately. She was entering old age and her hive can now lay her to rest. They have buried her outside the post office where she stayed for most of her life. Unfortunately, that weird guy that wears that big racist Native American outfit came? Thace, you know him? God, I hate that guy.

“Hunk’s angels have returned! They have been staying in his castle, and seem to be permanent members. This is impossible, as angels do not exist. For once, don't believe Hunk. Though, he would like to ask that if you see an angel in public, please lead them back to the castle-park. They’re new to town, and can get lost easily. But we all already knew that, didn't we?

“There appears to be, um, a cat floating above my counter here in the booth.

*mewling is heard in the background*

“We found her this morning, and since she's in my booth, I got to name her! Her name is Red now. I know, I know, you may say that Red isn't a good name and isn't accurate, but it is! Red is bright cherry red and glowing. I like to pet her sometimes, it's calming. But whenever I do, I have to wear protective gloves, since my sweet little Red will claw my arm off otherwise.

“Intern Katie has used her expertise to build Red a floating litter box and dish, so she can survive up there. She seems to be in a fixed position, and we certainly can't move her, but who cares that I'm going to have to live with this cat in my office now.

“Update on the green cloud, it's now made it to downtown. It has been emitting a strange static-y noise that sounds faintly like a name. Lubos, is my best guess, but who knows? It could be Ludo. Or even Lady. But for now, we'll call it Lubos, I guess. It has been dropping full grown trees on people and shops, and does appear to be dangerous.So if Lubos approaches you, run for your LIFE.

“Now, the weather.”

*this time the music rings in your ears. but as soon as it is gone, you cannot remember it. it is strange, but you have by now learned not to question it. you do not hear anything and you drink to forget.*

“Lubos’s trees are destroying private property, and are now flying around? Mayor Allura is hiding in the City Hall and peeking through the curtains as the trees fly back to Lubos.

“Lance is speaking out about Lubos. He is confused, and says that we should be very worried. But no we should not! Running from our problems is normal!

“Yes, very normal.

*a loud static voice is heard. Keith’s voice grows more frantic.*

“Um, listeners! Lubos is floating above the station and I'm being sucked out of my chair! The window has been broken by the trees and-

“LUBOS LUBOS LUBOS LUBOS LUBOS LUBOS LUBOS LUBOS LUBOS LUBOS LUBOS LUBOS LUBOS LUBOS LUBOS LUBOS LUBOS LUBOS LUBOS LUBOS LUBOS LUBOS LUBOS LU-

*the static settles but you can hear nothing else. radio silence. keith cannot be heard.*

*more silence.*

“Hello! I'm back! I can't quite remember what happened, only that I was suddenly outside the Cat Park, which we should never enter or look at, with no idea how I got there. But I'm back now.

“Red seems frazzled, and her hair is fluffed up. I should probably try and smooth her hair, so I'll go put on my gloves now.

“Stay tuned for furious cat screeches that will haunt you for the rest of your life.”


	3. Station Management

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Today, Station Management seems to be aggravated. Welcome to Night Vale."

“Today, Station Management seems to be aggravated. Welcome to Night Vale.

“Hello, listeners, It’s me, Keith. So I might not be on as long today, since Station Management is in a pretty bad mood. Apparently my show has been getting bad reviews. To those giving me 2 stars online: I can’t believe this. I thought we were friends. But anyway, this will be shorter than usual. Intern Katie may come on later to take my place, just a warning.

“Lance continues to try and convince us our town is bizarre, but I’m not falling for his charming smile, and his beautiful, beautiful eyes. And that gorgeous hair. Have you noticed yet how smooth his skin is? I mean, I’ve never felt it, but I’m assuming it’s very smooth. If anyone has any information about just how soft Lance’s skin is, by all means come to the station and tell me!

“We’ve just been informed that the library is opening for the day. Though it is a normal occurrence, yesterday Rax Balmera walked straight in, and never came out. I would like to remind everyone that even though Rax is a horrible snitch of a person, we have to understand that the libraries are incredibly dangerous. Did you have a death wish, Rax? Are you stupid? Yes. Yes, you are.

“An update on Hunk’s non-existent angels, he told me over that all the angels wanted to be referred to as “Shay” when we were having burritos at Zarkon’s the other day. He said he was doing well in his new castle and that the angels were pretty nice, which is, again, not possible! Angels don’t exist, and the Sheriff’s Secret Police are never wrong about these things.

“Those Secret Police do make me wonder sometimes, however. Like, the head of the Secret Police, we all believe he is our sheriff, but who says he is? Maybe the real sheriff is just watching this all play out, and…

“And, um…

“The Secret Police is here to protect us and they are not suspicious in any way. Our sheriff is a kind man and we do see him every day menacingly patrolling the streets. I am not being threatened by a Secret Police Officer that is standing outside the booth’s window.

“Anyway, now that that’s over with, a lot of you have been asking on our website about how Red is doing! She is still floating here in my recording booth, and the floating dish that Intern Katie made her is working just fine. This is, however, my only job and source of income, and Intern Katie is a kid and doesn’t have any money, so cat food donations are appreciated. So far we’re getting Red by with some of my extra money and Katie’s weekly allowance of $12.”

*roars are heard in the background and are followed by the sound of something hitting the booth’s window*

“Okay, okay! So I’m going to go and talk to Station Management, but I will leave you with the Weather. And listeners? You all mean very much to me, and you kept me on the air for all these years. If I do not return, I want Intern Katie to be the new Voice of Night Vale. It’s been an honor flying with you boys.”

*as the music comes on, you can just barely hear the booth door open and close. you worry for keith. but you are swept into the hypnotizing music, and when the music ends, when you forget, and recover, there is a new voice at the microphone*

“Um, hi! My name is Katie, I’m the intern, I’m sure Keith has told you about me! He should be back at some point this week, hopefully. If not, I’ll be the new Voice. I’m very torn over what to think of this.

“Keith left me some instructions. Apparently, there is a new store opening downtown. It’s being opened by my my older brother’s husband, Shiro! He has opened a bakery called Shiro’s Cakery, and I’m so glad he’s doing this. From what I’ve seen, baking helps with his PTSD, and this improves his financial stability. Besides that, his cupcakes are just about the best thing I’ve ever tasted, other than Zarkon’s Burritos. No one wraps those burritos like Zarkon.

“Anyway, our time is just about up, goodbye listeners! It’s been nice talking to you and being on air! I hope Keith doesn’t come back! Oops, I mean I hope he does come back. He’ll come back and I will wait patiently for his death or disappearance. Goodnight.

“Stay tuned for loud yowling that is the result of me attempting to fill Red’s dish.”


End file.
